MarriageLyf Marriage Reflections

September 27, 2019

My latest reflections on marriage are around unity in marriage for lasting fruitfulness.

It seems that family time is under constant attack, with work, religious activities, CSR and co-curriculum activities constantly pushing to eat into family time.

Marriage partners need to strive to be united. Yet unity is elusive, like wind in your hands it can be difficult to keep to the same path unless a couple is intentional about oneness. Marriage is a team sport. Best ideas are collaborative.

Matthew 19:5 says “the two shall become one” (Matthew 19:5), so strive to be united so that you will succeed.  Marriage works best as a team sport. Best ideas are collaborative. “if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven” (Matthew 18:19)

Pushing for an independent spirit will create disharmony. So strive for oneness. For unity because Unity will get you there. Unity will get you to your diamond anniversary. Deuteronomy 32:30 One person chases a thousand and two people put ten thousand to flight.

According to NDOA (Swahili for marriage) handbook, by Muriithi and Carol Wanjau

There are several types of intimacy which help in keeping us united

  • Social Intimacy – This is the friendship part of the relationship. It is about entering each other’s worlds and becoming soul mates. This can be done through shared social activities. Social intimacy means making an effort to enter another’s world; professional, social and recreation and developing common interests.
  • Spiritual Intimacy – This is having a common spiritual authority – The greatest level of intimacy you can have is one spirit connecting to another. Even though you have been brought together by emotional or physical attraction, it is spiritual intimacy that will keep you glued together. A cord of three stands is not easily broken Ecclesiastes 4:12 Together with God you make an unbeatable combination.
  • Intellectual Intimacy – Strive for oneness in intellectual intimacy by studying together or taking an interest in what the other is studying, reading or learning at work. Schedule annual personal development because if you are not ‘growing’ you will soon regress.
  • Emotional intimacy – intimacy is built when a couple has a deep level heart to heart connection, sharing at the level of their deepest hopes, fears and longings.
  • Physical Intimacy – Did you know that growing in each of the intimacies above will help you achieve sexual satisfaction. Sexual intimacy grows over time with the same partner and is dependent on the growth of the relationship not on frequency or technique.

Like the logs in a fire holding a pot. Each of the above pillars contributes to unity in marriage.  Remember marriage is a team sport, so strive for oneness, collaborate on projects and have fun while doing so. Because Unity will help you succeed.